Friday, October 21, 2011

All or Nothing

I remember a conversation I had about eight years ago while driving in the car with my mom. She wanted to go through the McDonald's drive-thru to get an order of small fries as a "treat." My mom and I share the same weakness for those delicious crispy and salty delights (don't even try to argue about whose fries are will lose that battle). She was hoping that I would share this order of fries with her and she really wasn't happy when I said, no thanks. You see, we all feel better when we have a partner in crime. Someone to "cheat" or "be bad with" so that we don't feel so bad about our own food indiscretions. She tried to get me to bend by saying something along the lines of, "you know, you can just have one. It's not good to deprive yourself of everything." This thought around everything in moderation is great, but not for me. At the time that this french fry conversation was happening, I was on a very successful journey toward weight loss. One of my rules was that if I was being offered some food item that I could turn around and get anytime I want (i.e. once my weight goal was reached) then I would not indulge. On the flip side, if said food item was something special that was only offered once a year such as roasted corn at the NC State Fair or my favorite Christmas cookie, then I was game for making an exception. It was all or nothing for me.

I deal with the same all or nothing attitude when it comes to my workouts as well. It's like the old "go hard or go home" addage. I want to go to the gym, go for a run, ride my bike, etc. as hard as I possibly can for as long as I possibly can. I want to walk away from my workout worn out, dripping with sweat, and feeling like I actually accomplished something. If I can't do that then I want nothing to do with it. That's a real problem. You see, I've got chronic Lyme Disease and I deal with consistent pain on a semi-regular basis. I'll go from 100% to full-body pain in a matter of one day. I'll go from 2 hour workouts to sleeping on the couch all day in just the blink of an eye. This cycle happens what feels like every few months and when it's like that, I do nothing. Literally. I throw myself a little pitty party on my couch with a House Hunters marathon and some bad-for-me food. Enter an extra 50 pounds....

So I've vowed to try the everything in moderation thing when it comes to my workouts. I'm guessing it'll force me to try new things and gain a new appreciation for different activities. Not sure what my first attempt at something new will be but I'm sure it'll be comical. Zumba anyone???




  1. I"ll Zumba with youmba if you promise not to laugh!

  2. So cuz we have a lot in common as you know. I love ya and love your blog. It's brave and honest and something I'm not sure I could do so I'm envious. As for the pity party, as a fellow chronic pain sufferer they are a necessary tool for getting back on track. They are normal and help you regroup your thoughts and find your strength. We have the right to feel sorry for ourselves from time to time, like an emotional time out, because really it's just not fair. Just don't let them last too long, that's the tricky part. The pain doesn't win, we don't let it get in our way! Easier said then done, it's a constant battle but when we do win it feels great. Am I wrong? My pity parties are shorter and silent since I've had kids, some self wallowing and too many Mcd's stops to cheer me up until I snap out of it and get my act together. Now with only a few months until I have my 3rd baby and I find myself so busy I rarely have time to feel sorry for myself, even though the pain is worse. It sounds corny but I feel so lucky to have them and they make me so happy that I find it harder and harder to feel sorry for myself no matter how bad I hurt or what I can't do. You will see what I mean when it's your turn.
    As for the popcorn in the latest blog, again I'm envious, my husband gets the big bag and I can't seem to stay out of it! My willpower is pathetic as I eat all the leftover snickers and Reese's from the Halloween candy and chase them down with a Coke!
    Love ya!

  3. Jen! Thanks so much for commenting. You've dealt with so much in the world of pain and challenge and overcoming that and you're an inspiration! Keep reading and keep up the feedback :). I love you and I can't wait until we can get to Chicago for a visit.....hopefully in the Spring after baby #3 is here!! Love you :).